Bleach Battle for Yoruichi
by Peace in Chaos
Summary: This is a fun fanfic about Yoruichi's many pairings crack or not. She is paired with quite a few individuals in this story including, Byakuya, Soi Fon, Ichigo, and others. Now the suitors are battling it out in hopes of gaining the heart of the princess
1. The Battle Begins

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A/N: This is a fun story about the many pairings for Yoruichi. I got several request for pairings, the list may get a little long. It's all for fun no characters or pairings were hurt in the making of this fanfic. Check out the trailers on youtube **Battle for Yoruichi. **After getting a request for rape, I've decided to end this story. Sorry I am not that kind of writer and this is not that kind of story.

**Bleach Battle for Yoruichi**

The **Winter War** has started and Yoruichi joins the captains and lieutenants on the front line.

Yoruichi x Halibel

**Halibel:** Hey you're kinda hot wanna be my #1 Fracción?

Yoruichi is shocked. Stark scoops her and dashes off, and they reach Los Noches (LN) in no time.

Yoruichi x Stark

**Stark:** Beautiful, I am sorry I had to (He stops as he sees Byakuya out the corner of his eye, and moves quickly out of harm's way. He places Yoruichi down.) I'll be back for you, beautiful I promise, he says as he smiles.

Yoruichi x Byakuya

**Byakuya:** No you will not, Espada. She is my demon cat.

The battle begins, Bya vs Stark. They fight and fight and fight some more. It ends in a draw (both men down). The room begins to crumble due to their powerful attacks. Who will Yoruichi save? She saves them both because she's Yoruichi and she can do that.

--

Yoruichi is carrying both Stark and Bya. She turns the corner and runs into Halibel.

Yoruichi x Halibel

**Hailbel:** You didn't answer my question.

Out of no where appears Soifon.

Yoruichi x Soifon

**Soifon:** Sting all enemies to death.

Meanwhile back in Karakura Town

**Barrgan:** Humph, where did everybody go? I don't care I can take these pitiful shinigami down myself.

Halibel vs Soifon

The battle spills over into the room where Ichigo is about to face off against Ulquiorra, as the wall between the hall and room crumbles. The two men stop and Orihime runs to Yoruichi since she is covered in blood.

Orihime X Yoruichi

**Orihime:** Yoriuichi-san!! Are you ok? Let me heal you.

**Yoruichi:** It's ok Orihime it's not my blood.

**Orihime:** Are you sure, you know my touch can heal any wounds.

Halibel continues to battle Soifon in the background.

_**Side conversation Ichigo and Ulquiorra**_

**Ulquiorra:** Yoruichi

Ichigo X Yoruichi

**Ichigo:** Yeah, that's her. I've seen her naked and still dream about it.

Ulquiorra X Yorucihi

Ulquiorra leaves Ichigo and walks over to Yoruichi.

**Ichigo:** "Hey we're supposed to be fighting" (yelling)

Ulquiorra steps between Orihime and Yoruichi

**Ulquiorra:** Yoruichi you're coming with me.

Orihime slaps him hard.

**_Back in Karakura Town_**

Yoruichi X Masumoto and Yoruichi X Hitsguya

**Hitsguya:** That was strange.

**Masumoto:** I think they went after Yoruichi. Speaking of Yoruichi I really need to see her. I bet she could help me with my bankai. She and Haineko have that cat connection and we have a female connection. We'd be great together. I mean we'd work great together.

**Hitsguya:** Sigh, doesn't everyone know Yoruichi is going to end up with me. I am the most popular.

Battle on Bleach

_**Still in Karakura Town**_

Yoruichi x Ukitake and Yoruichi x Shunsui

Ukitake and Shunsui overhear Hitsguya's comment

**Ukitake and Shunsui**: That kid couldn't handle Yoruichi

They stare at each other for a moment

**Ukitake:** She'd always visited me when I was sick

**Shunsui:** When aren't you sick? Besides she'd drink sake with me.

**Ukitake:** Are you sure you weren't drunk and thought she was there?

_**Back at Urahara Shop**_

Yoruichi x Urahara and Yoruichi x Tessai

**Urahara:** You know Yoruichi risked everything to rescue me, a sexy shop keeper.

**Tessai:** More like a shaddy shop keeper (mumbles). You know she rescued me too. Maybe she did it for me.

_**Moving to LN**_

Yoruichi x Ulquiorra, Orihime, Byakuya, Stark

Ichigo has called out Ulquiorra for the third time.

**Ulquiorra:** Looks like I'll have to deal with trash before we can leave.

**Yoruichi:** Orihime I need you to ...

**Orihime:** Anything for you

**Yoruichi:** to heal Byakuya

Orihime begins to heal Byakuya. Yoruichi moves toward Stark.

**Stark:** You must be a heck of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

**Yoruichi:** Oooookaaaay

**Byakuya:** Yoruichi, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

**Yoruichi:** Byakuya you'd have to catch me first. Orihime, I am going to find Unohana. It looks like you're going to need help with all the injured.

Yoruichi dashes off.

**A voice from the darkness:** My, haven't you've been a busy kitty. (He steps into the light)

**Yoruichi:** Aizen

**Aizen:** Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

Yorucihi x Aizen


	2. History Repeats

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A/N: Trailer on Youtube: Battle for Yoruichi

* * *

**History Repeats **

**Youichi: I can't believe this happening again. This hasn't happened since ****Shunsui Kyōraku & Jūshirō Ukitake released** _**A Gentlemen's Guide to Girls and Great Hair**_

**Yoruichi reminisces about that day. **_**A Gentlemen's Guide to Girls and Great Hair**_** was named the book of the year by the Shinigami** **Men's Association the day Yoruichi and the others were to head back to the human world. It all started with ****Shūhei.**

**Yoruichi x Shuhei, Komamura, ****Hanatarō, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichika ;-P, Kira, Kon**

**Shūhei: **So how you doin'?

**Yoruichi**: I am fine. How**…**

**Shūhei: **Oh can see that

**Yoruichi: **What?

**Shūhei: **Do you believe love at first sight or do I have to walk up to you again?

**Komamura: **Excuse me Shūhei, I think Captain Yamamoto wants to speak with you.

**Shuhei: **Sorry I have to leave.

**Komamura: **I must apologize for young Shuhei.

**Yoruichi: **Its no big deal.

**Komamura: **That is good to hear. Yoruichi I have a question for you.

**Yoruichi:** What is it?

**Komamura: **If I followed you home would you keep me?

**Yoruichi**: I am kinda in between worlds right now. Look at the time I have to train with Soi Fon. Bye (she flash steps away).

**Hanatarō:** (just standing there)

**Yoruichi: **Hi, Hanatarō

**Hanatarō: ** (just standing there)

**Yoruichi: **(two minutes pass) Bye

**Hanatarō:** (five minutes later he is still standing there)

**Yamamoto: **(walks up and taps Hanatarō on the shoulder)

**Hanatarō:** (turns quickly and yells) Wow, you're pretty.

_Yoruichi encounters another captain on way from training with Soi Fon. _

**Kenpachi: **Hi Yoruichi, can I have directions?

**Yoruichi:** To where?

**Kenpachi:** To your heart (Yoruichi flash steps away heading east)

**Kenpachi:** Where'd she go?

**Yachiru: **That way (points to the west)

_Yoruichi watches Kenpachi and Yoruichi from the one place he's sure not look the roof of the 11th Division's headquarters. Unfortunately, they've started to heading for the headquarters. _

**Kenpachi**: Which way now?

**Yachiru:** Yoruichi is cat and cats like fish, hmm that way to Bya-kun's pond. (Kenpachi stops and heads in the opposite direction of the 11th's headquarters)

_Yoruichi jumps down and runs into Ikkaku and Yumichika_

**Ikkaku**: You must know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.

**Yumichika**: That was so not beautiful.

**Ikkaku**: What? And you can do better

**Yumichika**: Of course, (turns to Yoruichi) you're almost as beautiful as me. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

**Ikkaku**: Haha

**Yumichika**: Stop laughing!

**Ikkaku &Yumichika:** (They turn to face her) YORUICHI!! (she's gone)

**Yoruichi: **Hi Kira

**Kira:** If I (holds head down, and mumbles softly) bit my lip would you kiss it better?

**Yoruichi:** (lefts his head up gently) What? (_Kira faints)_

_The next day after returning to the human world Ichigo and Kon stop by the shop and Kon sees Yoruichi in her human form for the first time. _

**Kon:** (flying through the air towards Yoruichi) If I told you, you have a nice body. Would you (Yoruichi kicks him) rub it against mine (flying away from Yoruichi)?

**Back to the Present**

_Yoruichi begins to smile after going over the previous events_.

**Aizen:** I knew you'd be happy to seem.

**Yoruichi:** Aizen (Her smile disappears).

**Yammy**: (enters the room where Aizen is with Yoruchi) Aizen-sama there is trouble in Karakura.

**Aizen**: You don't say. Yoruichi we'll have to finish this conversation later. Later I'll have to show you my zanpakuto, its very very niicce. Yammy take care of our guest (Aizen leaves).

**Yammy**: Well I knew you couldn't stay away from me. You know once you go Yammy, everything else is just…just, hmm, hammy.

_Ulquiorra senses Aizen. Ichigo charges, but Ulquiorra has already left to find Aizen_

**Ichicgo**: DAMN IT, where'd he go?

**Yoruichi**: You're kidding right?

**Yammy**: (reminisces about their last encounter) You can fall out the sky, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.

(Ulquiorra watched the entire exchange. He walks over and hits Yammy in the stomach sending him flying backwards.)

**Y****ammy**: What are doing?

**Ulquiorra**: I told you before; you're in over your head. She's mine.

**Ulquiorra:** It looks like Christmas has come early this year. I can't wait to unwrap my gift (he reaches for Yoruichi).

**Yammy:** Ulquiorrrra (Yammy attempts to pound Ulquiorra, but Ulquiorra stops his blow with one finger). I am tired of you getting in my way. Not every woman wants you. (Yammy presses down harder causing Ulquiorra to use his entire hand to stop the force)

**Ulquiorra**: Don't be a fool.

_Ulquiorra removes his hand from his pocket and punches Yammy in the stomach sending him backwards. Yammy regains his balance and tries to hit Ulquiorra with a Cero blast. Ulquiorra deflects it easily sending it through the wall and into the room where Halibel and Sofion are _**_still_**_ fighting._

**Ichigo**: Why do you keep running? Why don't you fight me you cowardly... mime!?

**Ulquiorra**: Yammy for the third and final time she's mine (he leaves to fight Ichigo).

**Yammy**: Yoruichi right now you're just a 9.9 but you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

**Byakuya**: _Scatter_

* * *

A/N I know _History Repeats_ is an incredibly lame title for a chapter.


	3. Who Will Win?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

* * *

**Who Will Win?**

_**Back in Karakura Town**_

Yoruichi x Gin, Kaname

**Gin**: I wish we could see.

**Kaname**: Me too

**Aizen**: I had to leave Yammy guarding Yoruichi.

**Gin:** Ain't too sure about Yammy's abilities, I am thinkin' I should take his place.

**Kaname**: No, I should we would not want Yoruichi to escape.

**Gin:** (steps to Kaname) Why don't we settle this like men.

**Kaname:** I agree.

**Gin:** Rock, paper, scissors on three.

**Kaname:** Of course it's a blood free path to justice.

_**A battle between a captain and an Espada begins back in Los Noches (LN). Yammy is bombarded by thousands of small blades. **_

**Yammy:** Where in hell did you come from? Who are you?

**Byakuya: **I am Kuchiki Byakuya and I am the one Yoruichi is leaving with.

**Yammy: **I wouldn't count on it little man.

Yammy shoots a Cero blast at Byakuya. Byakuya uses his flash steps to dodge the blast. The impact of the blast causes the already structurally damage room to start to collapse, and Yoruchi has no choice but to escape by jumping out the window. Yoruichi lands gracefully on her feet.

**A voice whispers in her ear:** Hello pretty lady.

**Yoruichi: **Grimmjow? Aren't you supposed to be dead?

**Grimmjow: **You of all people should know a cat has nine lives. Speaking of cats, I bet you can make me purrrrrr.

**Yoruichi:** That's supposed be my line.

**Ishida:** Step away from Yoruichi, she's with me.

**Grimmjow: **And who are supposed be?

**Ishida:** I am Ishida Uryuu, the Quincy that's going to take your life.

**Grimmjow: **That's big talk from a boy.

**Ishida: ** It's not just talk, Mr. Kitty. I am a Quincy and I am certainly not afraid of an 80s rock band reject.

**Grimmjow:** It's on slim shaddy.

**Renji:** Hey Yoruichi! (yelling as he runs over to her)

**Grimmjow:** Who the hell are?

**Renji:** I am your worse nightmare

**Yoruichi:** Ok this is getting too weird (she flash steps away).

**Renji:** Dammit where'd she go? Oh man, I had the perfect line too.

**Ishida:** And what was that?

**Renji:** You know milk does the body good, but I can do it better.

Both Grimmjow and Ishida were impressed by Renji's line.

**Very far away from Los Noches**

**Yoruichi:** See Tsunade that is why I had to leave.

**Tsunade: **I understand Yoruichi. You can stay her as long as you need to, but stay in cat form for now.

**Yoruichi: **Thank you, Tsunade

**Naruto: **You sent for me Granny Tsunade.

**Tsunade**: Yes this is Yoruichi. Yoruichi will be helping you with your training.

**Naruto: **A CAT, ARE YOU CRAZY!!

**Yoruichi: **Naruto

**Naruto: **You CAN TALK!!

**Yoruichi: **Yes, I can talk.

**Tsunade: **Naruto, Yoruichi is highly skilled and can take you to another level.

**Naruto:** WOW a talking cat.

_Naruto takes Yoruichi on a tour of the Leaf Village. The two run into Kakashi, who is thumbing through one of his favorite books. _

**Naruto:** Kakashi this is Shihōin Yoruichi

**Kakashi:** Did you say Shihōin Yoruichi?

**Naruto:** Yes, he's going to train me, if

**Kakashi:** You know Yoruichi milk does the body good, and I am much better then milk. Why don't we go back to my place and discuss effective training methods for Naruto over an ice-cold bottle of milk.

**Yoruichi:** Did you say an ice-cold bottle of milk?

**Naruto:** What about my TRIANING?

**Kakashi:** Here Naruto read this you may learn something.

_He hands him the book he was reading, A Gentlemen's Guide to a Hot Bod and Hot Girls __by __Shunsui Kyōraku & Jūshirō Ukitake__.__ Kakashi and_ Yoruichi start walking away. They slow their pace as they see a foreboding figure in the distance.

**Kakashi:** I wonder who that is

**Yoruichi:** It can't be, it is, its _Sesshōmaru. _I wonder what is he doing here? I haven't seen him in almost 100 years. He is an Inugami daiyokai.

**Kakashi:** I see a dog demon

**Yoruichi:** Now for that glass of milk, I am pretty sure he's not here for me (oh dear, maybe I should have went to visit Goku instead).

**Sesshomaru:** There she is.

**Rin: **Where, I just see a man and a cat.

**Jaken:** I see Lord Sesshomaru (he pages quickly through, _A Gentlemen's Guide to Girls and Great Hair)_, I have found the perfect line: Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you? Lord Sesshomaru…

**Sesshomaru:** I do not need your help Jaken, I got this (he recites his line: Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me).

* * *

A/N: Yes, I have used another lame chapter title.


End file.
